Lesbian Health
                   Remember
- The word "lesbian" is a word some women use to describe their sexual orientation.
- Even if you are in a same-sex relationship, you can still get STDs.
- Take your time and trust your inner feelings about when you should "come out".
 If you are reading this guide, you may have questions about your own  sexual orientation or about someone who is close to you. Having  questions about your sexuality is perfectly normal, and taking the time  to learn more is a great way to explore questions and address concerns   you may have. After reading this we hope that most of your questions  will be answered and you will have a better idea of the many resources  available to gay teens. We have included a variety of resources at the  end of this guide for help and support.  
What is a lesbian?
A lesbian is a woman who is sexually attracted to other women and  prefers to have a woman as her partner. The word "lesbian" is a term  that some women use to describe themselves and understand their sexual  orientation; however, some women prefer to use other terms like "gay" or  "queer" and some prefer not to use a label at all.  
How do I know if I am a lesbian?
Having one or two sexual experiences with another woman does not  necessarily mean you are a lesbian; nor does having a "crush" on someone  of the same sex. Many gay people have had sexual experiences with  someone of the opposite sex, just as many straight people have had  experiences with someone of the same sex. It's okay to be unsure whether  you are gay or straight, and it's okay to take your time in finding  out. Your sexual "orientation" will develop over time. What is most  important is that you listen to your feelings—you don't need to label  yourself.  
What does it mean to be bisexual?
Bisexual is the term used to describe people who have sexual and  romantic feelings for both men and women. A bisexual can be more  attracted to one gender than the other, or he/she can be equally  attracted to both. Some gay and lesbian people, (when they first  acknowledge their own feelings), may say that they are bisexual, and  later describe themselves as a gay man or a lesbian. However, there are  also a lot of people who are attracted to both men and women.  
If I am not having sex with men, why do I need to see a doctor?
It is a common but 
completely untrue belief that lesbians do  not need gynecologic care. Many lesbians feel they are at a low risk  for getting STDs because they are not having sex with men. Routine  physicals, Pap smears, and 
(if you are sexually active with men, women, or both men and women) STD counseling and testing are very important. Don't assume that just  because you are in a same-sex relationship you are not at risk. Continue  to see a health care provider for checkups.  
Am I at risk for STDs even if I have sex only with women?
Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are infections that are  typically passed through sexual, and sometimes nonsexual, contact with  an infected person. 
Anyone can become infected. STDs can be  passed from woman to woman even if neither one has ever had sex with a  man. STDs are spread through contact with infected body fluids, such as  blood (including menstrual blood), vaginal fluids, semen and discharge  from a sore caused by an STD. They can also be spread through contact  with infected skin or mucous membranes, and through vaginal, anal, or  oral sex. Whether you are gay or straight, it is important to always  practice safer sex to lower your chances of getting a STD.  
How do I lower my risk of getting a STD?
There are ways to be close to another woman that lowers your chances  of getting a STD. Some ways to connect with another person and have safe  sex could include: hugging, (dry) kissing, masturbation/mutual  masturbation, and giving each other a massage. If you're going to be in  contact with your partner's vaginal fluids, be sure to protect yourself  by using an oral barrier, such as a "dental dam." Oral barriers are  protective materials made of latex or very thin plastic. They are used  to cover a part of the body and prevent contact with body fluids that  could be infected with a STD.  
Ways to lower your risks: - Use an oral barrier, "dental  dam" or cut a condom or a latex glove into a square piece of latex.  Hold the square piece of latex firmly with your fingers and stretch it  over your partner's vulva to prevent direct contact with bodily fluids.
- Latex gloves, condoms or finger sheaths can protect against transmission of STDs through sores or  cuts/hangnails on fingers when having finger play or digital  penetration.
You may want to ask your healthcare provider about  where to find dental dams. For more information on sexually transmitted  diseases, visit our STD guides and our guide to Making Healthy Sexual Decisions.
  How can I find a health care provider who will help and support me?
For your primary care provider to provide the best care, it is  important that he or she know about the people and the issues in your  life. You should feel safe and comfortable enough with your health care  provider to be completely honest about your sexuality, and to ask any  questions that you may have. 
 You may feel comfortable speaking to your current health care  provider about your sexual identity, or you may want to look for a new  primary care provider.  
You can: - Ask trusted family members and friends for  recommendations of health care providers (HCP’s) who may be especially  sensitive to your needs.
- Meet with a few HCP’s to see who you are the most comfortable with.
- Look at online databases such as the GLMA Physician Reference Program  to find a health care provider in your area that is particularly sensitive to the needs of gay/lesbian teens.
Finding a health care provider with whom you can talk  honestly, and openly ask questions is an important way to get the  support you need and deserve.
  Where can I go for support and additional information?
There are many people who are willing to help and support you. If you  have not had the chance to talk about your feelings with anyone, think  about a person with whom you feel comfortable and can trust. It is  possible that not everyone you meet will be accepting of your sexual  orientation, and you may face some prejudice and discrimination. So  trust your own feelings about who to reach out to for support. It is  important to use your own instincts and judgment. The person that you  choose to talk with could be a: 
- Parent
- Doctor or nurse
- Family member
- School counselor
- Trusted friend
- Teacher
- Clergy member
Sharing your feelings with someone who is willing to listen is very  important. If there is no one in your life that you can trust, there are  plenty of resources available that will tell you where you can go to  meet people and discuss your feelings.  
Gay/Straight Alliances Many schools have Gay/Straight Alliances, GLBT(Gay,  Lesbian,Bi-sexual, Transgender) networks or other groups where you will  be able to meet students and teachers willing to listen and share their  own experiences. Gay/StraightAlliances and GLBT newtorks are also  support groups that work to help reduce anti-gay violence, harassment,  and discrimination. They do this by providing information about  homophobia (fear and prejudice against lesbian, gay and bisexual people)  to the school community and by encouraging open and honest discussions  to increase understanding within the school. These groups are usually  led by students (with teachers acting as advisors) and are open to all  students. If your school does not have a Gay/Straight Alliance, you may  want to talk to a trusted teacher about the possibility of starting one.  Organizations such as 
GLSEN can be a great resource and provide you with information on how to start a GSA in your school.  
Guidance Counselors Consider talking to a guidance or health counselor at your school and  asking him or her for information about resources in your area.  
Other Resources Look on the Internet, in the phone book, or perhaps even in your  local newspaper for organizations and groups where you can meet and find  support from other gay teens, adults, parents of gay teens. Be sure to  look for groups that are run by trained counselors. Although it is  tempting to meet with someone online that you feel you have connected  with, it can be very dangerous. In fact it's REALLY hard to tell if  someone is telling the truth online. People can make up the information  or misrepresent themselves and stalk young women on the Internet whether  they are lesbian, straight, or bisexual. Bottom line is that some  people who use the Internet are not trustworthy and could hurt you. 
 What should I tell my parents and other family members?
Coming out to your family is often very scary and an incredibly brave  thing to do. Make sure you are ready. Not everyone may be willing to  accept your homosexuality at first. However, hiding your sexual  orientation keeps the important people in your life from knowing an  important part of who you are. This can make you feel lonely and  isolated. Take your time in deciding if and when you want to come out. 
You should not feel at all pressured to tell anyone until you are ready. Some gay teens say that after they came out, they became much closer to  their families—that it was a relief not to be keeping a secret any  longer. But some teens know that their parents or other familiy members  are not ready to hear about their sexual orientation and worry about  being treated unfairly. Be as open and honest with your parents as you  feel comfortable being. 
 If you do choose to come out to your parents and other family  members, try to have a support system (of trusted friends and adults  like a teacher or counselor) in place. Some teens find it helpful to  practice what they are going to say when coming out to family. Others  find it helpful to write letters explaining their sexuality followed by a  face-to-face conversation. Afterwards be sure to plan for some time  with your “support team” to discuss your family’s reactions.  
Where can my parents find information and support?
Learning about your sexual identity may be both confusing 
and concerning for your parents. After you tell them, be prepared that your  parents will need some time to accept what you have shared. The best  thing that you can do is offer them honest answers, resources and people  they can talk to. The more homework you've done, the more self-assured  you'll seem which will help your parents realize that you are ready to  take responsibility for yourself. 
 There are lots of support groups, books, and web sites that can help  your parents understand what it means to have a gay child. Encourage  them to find a local 
PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) Chapter, where  they can meet other parents of gay youth,and receive information and  support.  
What should I tell my friends?
Coming out to your friends may raise concerns that feel different  than  when you talked to your family. It is normal to want to be  accepted for who you are by your friends and other peer groups. It is  also true that in middle school and high school in particular, it is  sometimes difficult to feel like you “fit in”, whether you are gay,  straight or bisexual.  What helps is to try and surround yourself with  friends whom you know are accepting of your sexual orientation. Some of  your friends may already know but others may be surprised. Being honest  and open and knowing about available resources will go a long way in  communicating with your friends.       
Please remember that you are not alone. There are  many 24-hour hotlines available to answer questions, give you  information, and just listen to your thoughts and concerns. It is very  difficult and very brave to come out as a bisexual or a lesbian. Take  your time, trust your inner feelings, and never be afraid to reach out  and ask for help and support.
 Additional Resources
Books for Teens:
Bauer, Marianne Dane, ed. Am I Blue? Coming Out from the Silence. New York: Harper Collins, 1994.
 Chandler, Kurt. Passages of Pride: Lesbian and Gay Youth Come of Age. New York: Times Books/Random House, 1995.
 Cohen, Susan and David. When Someone You Know is Gay. New York: Dell, 1992.
 Garden, Nancy. Annie On My Mind. New York: Farrar, Straus, Giroux, 1982.
 Herdt, Gilbert. Children of Horizons: How Gay and Lesbian Teens are Leading a New Way Out of the Closet. Boston: Beacon Press, 1993.
 Heron, Ann. Two Teenagers in Twenty: Writings by Gay and Lesbian Youth. Boston: Alyson Publications, 1994.
 Mastoon, Adam. The Shared Heart: Portraits and Stories Celebrating Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young People. New York: William Morrow and Company, 1997.
 Moore, Lisa, ed. Does Your Mama Know? An Anthology of Black Lesbian Coming Out Stories. Austin, TX: RedBone Press, 1997.
 Pollack, Rachel. The Journey Out: a Guide For and About Lesbian, Gay, And Bisexual Teens. New York: Viking, 1995.
 Rench, Janice E. Understanding Sexual Identity: A Book for Gay and Lesbian Teens. Minneapolis: Lerner, 1990.
 White, Jocelyn C. and Marissa C. Martinez. The Lesbian Health Book: Caring for Ourselves. New York: Seal Press, 1997.
 Online Resources for Teens:
 Hotlines for Teens:
Gay & Lesbian National Hotline 
1-888-843-4564
 !OUTPROUD! The National Coalition for Gay, Lesbian & Bisexual Youth
1-415-460-5452
 Out Youth Helpline
1-800-969-6884
 Teen Council
1-202-347-5700
 Books for Parents:
 Bernstein, Robert A. Straight Parents Gay Children: Inspiring Families to Live Honestly. New York: Avalon, 1999.
 Fairchild, Betty and Nancy Hayward. Now That You Know: A Parents' Guide to Understanding their Gay and Lesbian Children. New York: Harcourt Brace and Company, 1998.
 Griffin, Carolyn Welch and Marian J. Wirth. Beyond Acceptance: Parents Of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences. New York: Saint Martin's Press, 1997.
 Marcus, Eric. Is it a Choice? San Fransisco: HarperSanFransisco, 1993.
 Switzer, David K. Coming out as Parents: You and Your Homosexual Child. New York: Westminster John Knox Press, 1996.
 Online Resources for Parents:
  Hotlines for Parents:
 Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbian and Gays (PFLAG)
1-800-322-2020
 Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States
1-212-819-9770
 Written by the CYWH Staff at Children's Hospital Boston
             Updated: 9/24/2009